|
For the Mix 'n' Match Challenge Blue canary in the outlight by the light-switch
The thing about AJ is that he loves Chris. He doesn't say it often, doesn't have to, but it's true. At night, AJ wraps around him and rests his head on his stomach, and Chris cards fingers through his hair and falls head over heels all over again. The first time AJ slept on him, Chris tried to push him away, muttering something about "pudge" and "quit it." AJ poked him -- hard -- and said "I like your pudge, Kirkpatrick. Lose weight and I'm never fucking you again." Chris makes sure to keep a nice little layer of insulation going even when on tour, and AJ's teddy bear fits there nicely. AJ has his Joey doll, carefully repaired by his mom, and Chris likes knowing they take care of each other. * * * The thing about AJ is that he gave up everything, booze, drugs, dope, everything. Chris cleans the medicine cabinet of anything stronger than tylenol, and gives his stash of pot to JC. AJ never smokes indoors, because it makes the furniture smell of nicotine. He sits outside, though, after dinner, and Chris sits next to him. They usually end up stinking, the both of them, because the wind can never stay in one direction and inevitably the smoke settles around Chris. Or Chris settles around AJ. They go upstairs, stripping clothes off on the way, and fuck each other in the shower, or the jacuzzi, or the bed, or all three. AJ always pops a breathmint, and Chris never tells him he can taste the nicotine underneath, hiding in the corners of AJ's mouth. He loves the way that AJ tastes. * * * The thing about AJ is that he's really a big old softie underneath his crunchy candy coating. Chris likes it when AJ melts in his hand. He likes to nibble at AJ's coating, biting and licking and nuzzling. He loves it when AJ melts in his mouth. * * * The thing about AJ is that he cannot dance. Not when he's offstage, not when he isn't in a club. He twirls around their living room, singing They Might Be Giants and shimmying and he wears oversized shorts and hoodies and baseball caps and looks for all the world like a great huge dork, and it's all Chris can do not to jump him there. * * * The thing about AJ is that he isn't a hearts and roses kind of guy, so on their anniversary Chris makes his favorite dinner -- quarter pounder super-sized -- covers the patio table with an old sheet, cause he can't find the tablecloth, and lights two dwarf candles (Dopey and Grumpy). He puts Phantom on the stereo, and AJ laughs and kisses him, and doesn't smoke a cigarette that night because they're already at the sex part when the craving hits. * * * The thing about AJ is that he knows how Chris gets, sometimes, looking around and not believing any of it is real. * * * The thing about AJ is that he feels that way himself. He wakes up in the middle of the night confused, disoriented, and it's dark and someone's there but he doesn't recognize this, doesn't know the warm, soft bed and friendly arms. Chris talks to him, soothes him, knows exactly how to bring him home because AJ does the same for him. * * * The thing about AJ is that a lot of his old drinking buddies try going sober, and every time he takes them in. He sponsers, and houses, and it makes things awkward, brings non-disclosure agreements into their home and Chris worries that they'll slip, they'll come in drunk or drinking or make AJ slip, but he doesn't even dream of asking AJ not to help. He doesn't want to make him choose, even though he knows the choice is him, that it isn't a choice at all. He doesn't want to ask, because he remembers seeing AJ from a distance, way back when, and blesses the fellow addicts who gave him a helping hand. * * * The thing about AJ is that he goes away, goes on tour, and usually it conflicts with Chris' tours and Chris is lonely. Lonely, and miserable, and AJ's voice in his ear just isn't the same. AJ's hands are different, longer, thinner fingers and Chris misses them. He misses AJ's lips, and touches, and the big goofy grin he gets when Chris makes him laugh. He misses AJ. * * * The thing about AJ is that he shows up unannounced and waits, naked, on the bus. Justin gets on with Chris, to hang, gets on first and screeches and runs down the steps again, flattening Chris on the way, and AJ laughs hysterically until Chris catches his breath again and kisses him. * * * The thing about AJ is that Chris thinks of him constantly. An ugly hat, or a snippet of a song, or one of Lance's sarcastic comments, and Chris flashes on a memory and has to call him. * * * The thing about AJ is that he calls Chris, too, leaves short, random messages, like "Baylee rolled over today, and Nick is on a power ballad kick and I miss you," or "Howie said to tell you to tell Lance to tell someone or other something about some business or -- ow! Howie!" that usually dissolve into a long silence, and just when Chris thinks the message is over, AJ whispers "love you," and hangs up. * * * The thing about AJ is that Chris loves him back. challenge index story index |