Chris and Justin were in love. It wasn't just that they loved each other, either, although they certainly did that. But they were completely, head-over-heels, 14-year-old girl in love.

It amused Joey no end.

"See," he said to Lance, "they're crushing on each other."

Lance looked. They were on the PS2, and from all appearances Chris' boxer was beating the crap out of Justin's. They were sitting on the couch, not touching at all, occasionally bursting out with lines like, "Oh, you fucker!" and "Take *that,* heartthrob boy!" and "Yeah, I'm gonna whup yo ass to kingdom come."

Lance turned back to his laptop.

"No, really," Joey said. "They're, like. As cute as sliced bread."

"Sliced bread isn't cute," JC said, "it's best."

"What?"

"They're the *best* thing since sliced bread."

"See?" Joey poked Lance with his foot. "Jayce agrees with me."

"I do not," JC said.

"You don't think they're cute?"

"Well, I mean. In an empirical. I. Obviously, yes, each of them is, individually, in his own forte..."

"I withdaw the question."

"See?" Lance said. "Not cute."

"They are, though! They're. They're. If you wrapped them in a carpet, you'd understand."

"If I *what?*"

"As cute as bugs in a rug, isn't that the saying? Jayce?"

"Snug, I think."

"Well, they're cute too. We'll wrap them in a carpet. Then you'll see."

"How would I know what a bug in a rug looks like?" Lance asked. "And where would we get a carpet?"

"We buy one, of course. A little throw rug, or something."

"We're buying carpeting?" JC asked.

"Well, duh," Joey said. "It *is* the only way to measure the cuteness of Justin and Chris."

"Couldn't we buy J-14?"

Joey hit him. "Don't be a cheapskate, man. This is important."

"This is not important," Lance said. "This is the kind of activity VH1 will bring up in our Behind the Music special. Look at our spoiled musician behavior, they'll say. We buy wall-to-wall carpeting, solely for wrapping around people."

"It's better than getting drunk and high and attempting to prove we can fly like a bird," JC said soothingly.

Joey flushed. "It was just the one time."

Justin threw down his game control and wandered over. "What's going on?"

"We're gonna stop at the next carpeting store and buy a rug," Joey said.

"We're what?"

"Buying a rug," JC said.

"Why?"

"Because," Lance said, "Joey thinks you and Chris are cute."

"So we are," Chris said, bounding up. "Catch me!" He jumped in Justin's arms, kissing him on the nose. "See? Aren't we adorable?"

"You're gonna adorable me right into a bad back," Justin muttered. "I still don't see what this has to do with carpeting."

"Because," Joey explained, "you're as cute as bugs in a rug. And Lance doesn't believe me."

"Lansten!" Chris leaned forward, ignoring the startled yelp Justin gave when he had to rearrange his arms. "How can you say such a thing?"

"Easily. I have walked in on you two sharing backstage blowjobs one too many times."

"It was only the once!"

Justin dropped Chris on the table.

"He has a point," JC said, tweaking Chris' nose.

"Ahh," Joey said happily, staring over the driver's shoulder, "that should do nicely." They pulled into a parking lot. A few minutes later one of the other buses arrived and Joey bounded down the stairs, meeting Lonnie. When they emerged from the store, they were lugging a brand new, sea-foam green shag carpet.

"That's never gonna look cute," Justin said.

"What are you talking about?" JC asked. "It's adorable!"

Lance rolled his eyes.

"A little help?" Joey called from outside. Chris rolled off the table and went to grab one end of the carpet. JC ran for his camera.

"I'm not doing this," Justin said.

"I wouldn't," Lance said.

"It's ridiculous."

"It is."

"Stupid."

"Absolutely."

"We'll look like complete idiots."

"I'll give you a blowjob," Chris said.

"Where do you want me?"

Joey postioned Chris and Justin in front of each other, and starting wrapping the rug around them. Every time he passed Lance, he grunted, clearly wanting help. Lance continued typing on his lap top. Finally, Joey proclaimed "Done!" in a pleased voice, and JC came up from the bunks, disposable camera in hand.

Chris and Justin were pressed together, surrounded by green fuzz. One of Chris hands peeked over the top of the carpet, but the rest of him was covered. Justin was resting his head on top of Chris, making silly faces.

"See?" Joey said. "Bugs in a rug."

JC snapped a picture. "Bugs in a rug," he said happily.

Lance sighed. "Fine," he said as Chris squeaked, pushing backwards, and the rug, along with Chris and Justin, fell to the floor. "They're as cute as bugs in a rug."

"I knew you'd see it my way," Joey said.

"What I don't understand," Lance said, "is why you were so adament."

"Because look at them. They adorable, and cheesy, and unable to move."

"Good point."

"We can go play games, or sleep, or whatever," JC said thoughtfully, "and they couldn't stop us."

Lance picked up his laptop.

"Hey!" Chris said, wriggling, "come on! We're not that bad!"

"Buddy," Joey said, "you're completely saccharine."

JC pushed him towards the bunks, and the door slid shut behind them.

Justin sighed. "I'm not gonna get my blowjob, am I?"