"Chris?"

"I'm sorry," Chris said.

"Don't you think you should be telling Wade that, not me?"

"I just. I don't know what happened."

JC sat next to Chris, and slipped an arm around his shoulders. "You miss it," he said.

"What? That's ridiculous."

"Is it? Don't you see the pattern?"

"C, what on earth are you talking about?"

"Justin never gets a moment alone, unrecognized. He's constantly pawed by fans, hounded by reporters, and never gets time to sit down and figure out who he is, and just be himself. So he turns into a woman - a stranger, someone nobody's ever heard of. Joey never gets solos, hardly even gets heard anymore, his voice blends so well. He loves Bri and Kelly, but they tie him down, anchor him. He was a star in high school, and if *nsync never happened, he probably would have been a star in movies. But instead he's a perennial back up. So suddenly, he discovers he can fly - he can soar away, and be special, and be the hero he's always idolized. You and AJ - you never had a childhood. You got to be it, live it. And that was great for the two days it lasted, but now, you know what it's like. You know what you were missing." JC smiled. "You released your inner child, and you want it back."

"My inner *female* child?"

"You didn't get to *be* a male child. You were the caretaker, the father. An adult."

"I was a kid! I acted in the school plays. I was on the football team."

"You worked a job from the time you were eleven, so your mom could cover the rent."

Chris shrugged. "I still got to-"

"No, you didn't. Not like we did. Lou called all this stuff the price of being a popstar, and in a way it is, but not like you think. We all got a taste of what we wanted - needed - most, and then it's gone. *That's* the price we pay, Chris. And you're upset because you've already paid it, and now it's only worse."

Chris sighed, and pressed his face into JC's leg. "When did you get so smart?"

"One of us has to be."

"Funny," Chris said.

JC stroked his hair. "What are you gonna do about Justin?"

"What?"

"Christopher Alan Timbertrick?"

Chris shook his head, rubbing his face against JC's track pants. "Just idle curiosity."

"Chris. You've been in love with him for - what? 3 years?"

Chris froze. "How..."

"I pay attention," JC said. "I notice things."

"Since when?"

"Since always. I always watched you guys."

"Okay," Chris said, turning his head to look up at JC. "Then what do *you* think I should do? He's not about to break up with Britney, and even if he did, he'd still be straight. So I moon occasionally, and doodle, and think of names for our 7 children. Unless I turn female again, it's not gonna change anything."

"Why do you love him?" JC asked.

"What?"

"Why do you love him?"

"He's Justin."

"I know. But - what is it? His eyes? His clothes? His sparkling wit?"

"Hey now. There's only room for one sparkling wit in this band, and I believe it belongs to me."

"Answer the question."

Chris opened his mouth, then closed it. He frowned. "I don't know," he said, "I guess I just. Always have."

"Not always. 3 years isn't always."

"He's. He's Justin," Chris said, as if that explained everything. "He's my best friend. He takes care of me. Well, except for the past 2 days, when he's run from the sight of me, but you know. I can't have everything, or what would I do with it?"

"See, that's what I mean. You *can* have everything, Chris. Justin does. You don't have to be a 12-year-old girl to love people, and be loved in return. You're loveable just the way you are."

Chris grinned. "Why, Joshua Scott, I do believe you're flirting with me."

"Okay, freak, that's it. Lets get you back to rehearsal."

"JC?" Chris asked as they left the room.

"Mmm?"

"What was it you wanted?"

"What?"

"What did you miss that required a 20-year-old you?"

"It's what he needed," JC said.

"What did he need?"

"What does it matter? He's gone now."

"Nah," Chris said. He jumped on JC's back. "He's in here somewhere."

JC laughed. Chris nudged him with his feet. "Hi ho, Silver," he said. "You know, you're a slower horse than I remembered."

"You're heavier than you were 2 days ago."

"Carry me anyway?"

"Always," JC told him. "Always."
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