"So you see," Dumbledore said, "this information makes it imperative that you -- all of you -- go into hiding. Thanks to Hermione, who has agreed to go into hiding as well, and act as your manager, we have managed to procure identities for you as a Muggle, er. I believe the term is boyband?"

"Boyband," Harry said.

"Muggle boyband?" Draco said.

"SNAPE?" Ron said.

"He is in danger as well. Besides which, I'm not about to allow three 17-year-old boys to run around without supervision."

"Nothing stopped you before," Snape muttered under his breath, but Dumbledore ignored him.

"Right," Ron said, "but isn't he. Er."

"A little," Harry said, "um."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Don't be silly," she said, holding up a phial. "We'll just give him some water from the Foutain of Youth."

"We must be careful," Dumbledore said, pouring a small amount of the water into a glass, "we don't want to give you too mu--oops."

Snape, who had downed the glassfull, gave a startled yelp. His body scrunched over, then shook, then starting shrinking. When it finally stopped, he looked to be about "14. You made me 14-bloody-years-old!"

"You shouldn't curse," Hermione said.

"5 points from Slytherin," Harry added.

"Mr. Potter! I assure you that I--"

"You should call me Harry."

"Don't interr--what?"

"We're in a band, aren't we? And we're all -- supposedly -- mates, right?"

"Indeed," Dumbledore said. "And now, if you'll excuse me, I must go have a word with Professor McGonagall. Miss Granger, if you would finish explaining the situation?"

"Of course, Headmaster."

"First don't you think you should age--" Snape stared in shock as Dumbledore snapped the door shut. Ron smirked, and Snape stuck his tongue out, then flounced into a chair and pouted. "Of all the.."

"Oh!" Hermione said. "That face is brilliant. Make sure you do that in your photoshoots, Professor."

Snape straightened, startled. "I most certainly will not! I'm not here to go prancing about in photoshoots, Miss Granger, I'm here to make sure these... boys... don't die. That's all."

"Yes," Hermione said, "well. The best way to do that is to play along, isn't it? Besides, I don't see how you'll be protecting anyone as a 14-year-old, if you don't mind my saying so. We'd just better hope your voice doesn't crack and start changing before the war is done."

Snape turned bright red, and pouted again.

"We're really a boyband?" Harry said.

"Yes. I thought a nice name would be Majik. It gets just the right amount of wrong-spelling, don't you think?"

Draco shuddered.

"Now, I have some songs all worked out, and thanks to testing on Ginny and the other 6th years, I'm reasonably certain they should be successful. Provided, of course, that you can sing."

"Of course I can sing!" Draco said. "My father had me trained since I was four with the Three Wizard Tenors!"

"Oh good," Hermione said, "then you won't mind being the lead."

"What?" Ron.

"Oh, well, I did some research, you know, into Muggle boybands. And it turns out the lead singers. The really popular ones, you know, that all the girls go far? Are blonds."

Draco smirked.

"Also," Hermione said, "people seem to like the youngest ones."

Snape turned even redder, crossed his arms, and glared at the room.

"Good," Hermione said, making a note on her clipboard. "Just like that."