It had been pretty bad when Dumbledore and Hermione announced the plan. It had only gotten worse when they were serious.

The videotape of typical boyband choreography, however, was the absolute limit.

"Are you sure this is a music video?" Harry asked, squinting at the members of *nsync, frolicking together on the beach.

"What else would it be?" Hermione said.

"Well, er. I mean, it's kind of."

"Porn," Draco said.

Hermione turned bright red. "It's not porn! Anyway, at least it's not one where they're wet the whole time."

"Wet," Harry said.

"The Backstreet Boys got wet a lot. The girls seemed to go for it."

"The Backstreet Boys," Draco said, "don't look like Potter."

"Hey!" Harry said.

Draco arched an eyebrow. "If you want to douse yourself in cold water and overemote, be my guest. Just don't expect me to watch it."

"I'd beat you in a wet t-shirt contest," Harry said.

Draco snorted. "I'm the lead for a reason, Potter, and it's not just that I'm the only one of us actually capable of singing."

"Yeah," Harry said. "You're also a dumb blond."

"Better a dumb blond than a dumb brunet. At least I get more fun."

The music video had changed, and Justin Timberlake was singing on a bed.

"I think you should skip this one," Ron said suddenly.

Hermione, at this point, was thoroughly annoyed. "I suppose you have a good reason?" she asked shrilly. "I suppose the song is too favorable for Draco, or the lighting is all wrong for your complexion or--"

"I don't think someone as young as Severus should be watching this."

"I'm practically 40 years old," Snape said.

"You're 14," Harry said. On screen, Justin writhed. "Hermione, even you have to admit this is too much for a 14-year-old."

"He's 14!" Hermione snapped, pointing at Justin. Then she, Draco, Harry and Ron all turned to Snape, tilted their heads, and tried to imagine him on a bed, singing Justin's part.

They turned green.

Snape flushed. "I am perfectly capable," he said, mustering his dignity, "of singing even the most suggestive lyrics of what the Muggles try to pass off as music, I assure you."

"It doesn't matter," Hermione said. "You're not a lead."

Snape pouted.

"Well," Hermione said. "Maybe on one or two songs..."

"This," Ron whispered to Harry, "must be how those Backroad Blokes divided up their songs."

"Shut up," Harry whispered back. "Hey, Hermione? Can I get a solo too?"